I think there should be a reality TV show called Writers.  I would watch that show.  It would include a literary novelist; someone trying to write a blockbuster; a poet who acts far removed from everything because she knows she’ll never make a living doing this; a seasoned elder stateswoman-type who gives readings all over the country from the novel she wrote in 1975; and, finally, a young Eve Harrington figure, fresh out of an MFA program, who secretly wants to unseat the elder stateswoman.   Everyone would compare reviews, or the word-count of their day’s work; or print runs.  “How was your Kirkus?” they would ask each other in sexy voices.  Once a season one of them would go off to Yaddo or Macdowell, where they would be filmed lying listlessly on a narrow bed, eating all the Milano cookies that had been delivered outside their door in their lunch basket only five minutes earlier. Then they would look at the clock:  10:15 AM.  That comedic tough-luck sound-effect  would play:  Wah-wah.

There could be a pivotal scene on Writers in which two novelists go and give a reading at a big urban public library in another city, and after they’re done reciting their passages, one about violent death, the other about awkward sex, an audience member raises his hand and asks, “I’d like to know why two normal-looking ladies would possibly write about such abnormal subjects.”

This actually happened to me on my last book tour.   It wasn’t reality TV, but it might have been.  Truly, I don’t understand why Writers would be any less fascinating than the world of housewives in various glamorous locales–quite a few of whom, I should add, aren’t even really housewives.  But all of us, in one way or another, are indeed writers.

At the very end of the show, one of the writers,who is waiting for the publication of her book in a month (why, just like me)––would be very happy to find out, when checking her iphone in some inappropriate moment (during therapy, or a mammogram, or a fight with her husband), her novel, like mine, was picked for the Indie Next List for April: